the low point

I came here with the mindset that I would not get homesick, that I would be strong and be able to get over any anxious feelings about missing home. Theres got to be a low point though, even in Australia, you cant be happy all the time. I think that I have held up pretty well though, but now I do feel homesick, and I really just want to be home and sleep in my own bed, relax and have a long DNM with every single one of my friends, and my famlily. This is allowed to happen though, I know im allowed to miss my friends and miss my family, its completly normal. I just wasnt expecting to get thrashed on the head so suddenly with the realisation of how much I miss Australia, and the people there. At first I was horrified that I was going to miss formal, because it is meant to be such a turning point in my time at school, but as my trip became a reality, I really wasnt too upset. Then the photos came on facebook, and come onnnnnnn as if im not going to feel left out and a bit devo that I wasnt there with them.  The other thing that has been on my mind is my Grandma. Shes extremely sick, and has been in hospital ever since I left Australia. I want to be at her side, I want her to tell me all her stories, I just really really want to be with her right now. I cant explain how Im feeling, Im crying at this moment, for the first time I have been here. Just thinking about Grandma, and how much pain shes in, and how much pain my mum must be in too. I want to give her a huge hug, but obviously thats impossible right now. Grandma means the world to me, I really dont know how to deal with this at the moment, Mum said that she is really not well, and for her to say that, means that it is probably so much worse. Mum sent me an email explaining how she has been at the hosiptal for days, by Grandma's side, and is just about to leave to give the Chairmans speech at Speech night for my school. I cant imagine how overwhelmed she must be feeling right now. I wish I could do something, but Im so far away that thats impossible. I Just miss how open, friendly and comforting everyone in Australia is, because here it is more tight and almost a bit cold. For example, when I first found out that my Grandma was very sick, I had tears in my eyes and I walked out of the computer room to find my aunt looking at me, she asked what was wrong and I told her, she just stood there. Then said that she would pray for her that night and then walked away. Im not saying that she was unkind, I have just learned that people deal with things differently around here. I know that Ill sound like such a little girl when I say this but, all I really needed/wanted was a hug, and some comforting words like many mothers in Australia. After she left I just stood there, not knowing what to do, kind of shocked with tears running down my face, quite pathetic. This post is full of sadness and it sounds like Im having a shit time and that im not appreciating my situation; but its really not the case. I just needed to write down the bad things, so that I can enjoy the good things, and focus on them rather than dwell on the things that are worrying me.